charissa: I realised I had to place myself at the forefront
We originally connected with Charissa Chioccarelli as she’s the founder behind isla; an incredible nail art studio in Berlin. It is impossible not to be drawn in by the world of isla which is so much more than nails. It’s a feeling, a community, an energy. The original LinkedIn connection (oh yes - that’s how it started) has led to intimate conversations and this interview which dives into Charissa’s self-love journey - a journey that we felt were so relatable as she used to push her own needs aside because she took care of others. She has learned a different way and we want to follow her lead. It’s a process and something we all have to work on. Make sure to visit isla if you’re in Berlin and follow Charissa on Instagram right here. All there’s left to say is: thank you for the chat, Charissa.
Hi Charissa, could you start by giving our readers a bit of insight into who you are and how you’re feeling at the moment?
I am Charissa, a 33 year old business owner and mother of a 3 year old. I'm currently really excited for the year ahead of me, as I feel like it will be a year full of change and growth.
You are the founder of isla in Berlin - the most incredible nail art place. How did you end up starting isla?
isla started with community - I wanted to create a business with-and for my friends. The whole idea of isla started with nails but it is actually way more, isla is a platform for likeminded female creatives. All I wanted with isla was to be able to solely work with likeminded people and create opportunities with and for each other.
What feeling do you want a Isla customer to leave with?
Visiting isla should feel like visiting your friends. You feel inspired and recharged after seeing them.
You have created such a special place for people with Isla. Sometimes it can be easier to care for others than yourself. Do you think you’re good at showing yourself love?
For a long time I was too busy creating a safe space for others which made me prioritise everyone else's well-being over my own. However, going through a divorce made me shift my focus and made me realise I had to place myself at the forefront. Becoming a mother, then being left by my ex-partner made me reevaluate my priorities and recognise the importance of self-care. My first important step doing so was therapy. Through therapy I learned to establish and respect personal boundaries and to not only care for others but to show up for myself in ways I hadn't before.
Though the ride was bumpy, and is an ongoing learning curve, the lessons I picked up along the way have helped me to give myself the love and care I need.
Can you relate to the idea of intimacy and pleasure that you see represented in the world around you?
I guess it very much depends on where one consumes their content. Living abroad as an expat I barely consume any mainstream media, safe to say I live in my bubble. The algorithms work in mysterious ways and the content I consume (mainly on tiktok and instagram) is very much catered to me and my online behaviour. On top of that, I have created a space where I purely work with like minded womxn - hence I can relate to the way intimacy and pleasure are represented.
Do you feel free to prioritise your own pleasure or are there ever things holding you back?
One of the things that I love about being 30+ is how self aware and confident I've become. I know exactly what I am into and feel really free to prioritise myself and my own pleasure.
Finally, if someone felt it was hard to put themselves first, what advice would you give them?
Putting yourself first can be challenging but as we are all human beings with our individual feelings and preferences it is important to recognise your needs and wishes. Then recognise that your needs and wishes are just as valid and important as anyone else's. Plus for most partners it is actually a massive turn on when the other person prioritises their pleasure.
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