fulvia: we need peace to connect
Photo by Marie Louise Munkegaard
We’re often talking about how the media is creating a narrative around wellness and sex that aren’t representative of reality. But it’s not all bad - there’s also people out there in the world that are telling inclusive, mindfuld and important stories about intimacy. Fulvia is one of them.
Fulvia has made it her mission to help people find peace and space to connect with their own emotional being. And as this interview will show you, she’s ended up on this journey for very personal reasons.
We’ve always loved following her and her businesses - you can follow Fulvia and Glow Inst right here on Instagram or visit her website here. You’re missing out if you don’t - no pressure, just being honest.
Thank you Fulvia for sharing your story and perspective. You’re always such an inspiration.
Hi Fulvia, could you start by giving our readers a bit of insight into who you are, what drives you and what The Glow Inst is?
My name is Fulvia Masotti Kryger and I’m Danish Brazilian. Like most Brazilians, I have a very mixed racial background with grandparents with totally different origins and cultures. This is a big part of the way I see the world. And like most Danes, I’m very curious about how we can change the world.
I’m 42, married to Esben and my background is MSc (Econ.) from the University of Odense.
The creation process with The Glow Inst. began in 2016, when I gave birth to my second child. I had a very difficult pregnancy, where I was very sick and couldn’t eat for months. I got weaker and weaker for every month. I had difficulty walking and depended on my husband for everything.
I couldn’t go anywhere or do anything. I couldn’t even look at my phone because I was too weak to hold it. I stayed in my bed for 8 months. This very long period gave me so much time to think about life, identity, motherhood, values, and the meaning of it all.
This was an involuntary and unescapable room for reflection. Involuntary because I didn’t choose to be sick. Just like other persons with critical health problems. And unescapable because there is no cure for the condition I had. Only a kind of relief in form of a medication that normally is used during chemotherapy. And I took that to survive the pregnancy.
I got 100% well after I gave birth, and I was so tremendously thankful for living. It felt like a rebirth, and I was so sensitive to beauty. I could get tears in my eyes just by looking at the skies when I was walking outside with my little baby.
Art was moving. Nature was mesmerising. Connection was magical. My senses were different.
I believe this is a very normal transformation when human beings get a second chance after accidents or critical health conditions. It is very humbling.
My career had been an important part of my life up to that point. I was a Senior Consultant at a large Danish political organisation, and I was very motivated to care for my career. I enjoyed making money, having my own office in one of the most beautiful areas of Copenhagen and being a part of ‘important’ decisions. It was just my life and the environment I was a part of. I didn’t see my choices or perspectives as unusual, materialistic, or calculated.
This perspective changed after I gave birth in 2016. Not because of motherhood (this was my second child). But because of the isolation and the never-ending days I suddenly had to think.
So, after my maternity leave ended, I decided to return to the office. At that point, I already knew I wanted to create The Glow Inst., but I was back at the office for 4 months. I just had to come back and really ‘wear’ my professional work identity before letting it go. It had to look at it very closely, with tenderness and respect before taking the final decision to quit.
It was an enormous decision to quit my job. But I had to do it. Because I had something very important to do.
The process of designing the concept of The Glow Inst began during the pregnancy. And although it was a very emotional and subjective vision I had for my own company, I took it very serious from the very start.
I treated designing and creating the concept the same way I treated my master thesis. I took time to research, analyse, meet with key persons, write, organise and envision everything. I spent almost my entire maternity leave doing that work.
My goal with The Glow Inst. was to create a very special sensory and artistic space for women like me. The Glow Inst. is a place where women can be alone in silence, truly relax, take their time, find calm and be themselves. It’s a place, where women can enter a bubble of oxytocin. A dreamlike and ephemeral playground for the senses.
I really believe we need more peace and beautiful sensory experiences. Away from responsibility, screens, and gender expectations.
We love following you on Instagram. Your posts make us feel calm and fill us up with energy. Does this calm, slow-paced, mindful feed reflect your approach to life?
Yes, I’m a true introvert and was born in a very lush, calm, and dreamlike place.
I spent most of my childhood breathing fresh waterfall-filled air between the skies and the sea. Alto da Boa Vista is the heart of Tijuca National Park in Rio – a UNESCO world heritage site. It’s a magical place and considered as the largest urban rain forest in the world.
I feel at home in this mysterious and soft territory. Many people go there to make their offerings for the Afro-Brazilians gods and goddesses. They place beautiful flowers and fruits in the waterfalls and by the aromatic trees. Theres is a certain soft force there. It’s also where the famous sculpture of Christ the Redeemer is. You certainly get lost between places like the fairy lake and the loneliness weir. What I love the most, are all the mansions and buildings from the 18th and 19th century that grow old together with the waterfalls, the fauna and the flora. The beauty is calm and dreamlike.
I was born there, because my father and his family are from this place.
Have you always been so mindful about wellness? If not, what triggered it? You also share stories and thoughts about intimacy. What role do you think intimacy plays in our lives (or should play)?
I have always longed for time alone and the feeling of losing sense of time. I thirst for all experiences that makes me feel like that.
And intimacy is a big and important part of that. When we feel connection with ourselves and our partner, we lose sense of ‘reality’ and time. Its magical and very beautiful.
Do you see sex as wellness? And if so, have you always been so mindful of how intimacy or was there something that triggered this?
I think I’m very privileged of living with the love of my life. It’s a mature love now, after 20 years of communication, experiences together and evolution. There have been many periods where sex just a part of our contact wasn’t. There were periods with difficulty communicating and periods with illness. Almost like unavoidable, long blank spaces.
We love the language you use to talk about intimacy and sex. You talk about it in a way that feels very mindful, and it speaks to us. How do you think the way sex is represented in the world around us affects us?
I feel that intimacy and sex are elements and parts of a much larger thing. The best description I have ever encountered is the essay Uses of the Erotic from 1978 by Audre Lorde. I have read it again and again and I keep discovering new layers in her text. I evolve with it. It’s a masterpiece.
Here are some quotes from the essay:
“For the erotic is not a question only of what we do; it is a question of how acutely and fully we can feel in the doing. Once we know the extent to which we are capable of feeling that sense of satisfaction and completion, we can then observe which of our various life endeavors bring s closest to that fullness.”
“The erotic is a measure between the beginnings of our sense of self and the chaos of our strongest feelings.”
“We tend to think of the erotic as an easy, tantalizing sexual arousal. When I speak of the erotic, then I speak of it as an assertion of the life force of women; of that creative energy empowered, the knowledge and use of which we are now reclaiming in our language, our history, our dancing, our loving, our work, our lives.”
Do you think the conversations about intimacy are tainted by taboos?
Yes, it’s very difficult for most of us to talk about the erotic and about our longings. I think there are many taboos, because we still live pretty close to the past and all the punishment and shame from past eras. They are too close and keep whispering in our collective ears.
We must continue moving towards the future with tenderness and insistence.
sitre would like everyone to start nurturing their sex life the same way we nurture other parts of lives/body/mind. But we also know that’s easier said than done as it’s a shift in how most people view intimacy. Do you have any advice on how to start this process?
My advice is to keep exploring things, relationships and experiences that feels good and loving. Things that make you feel good in your body and in your feelings. Sometimes these things are conversations and deep listening. Sometimes it’s a song.
And finally, if you were going to give someone who feels a bit stuck three simple tips to incorporate intimacy and self-care into their everyday life, what would they be?
I would like everybody to put their phone in a bag and go to the living room to relax without the temptations of the phone. Just for an evening. Talk, touch and listen to your partner. Or enter a portal like a beautiful film. I would suggest a sweet cinematic escape like Orlando (1992) with Tilda Swinton. It’s directed by Sally Porter and based on Virginia Wolfs turbulent and magical love affair with poet Vita Sackville-West.
Thank you Fulvia. You’re always so reflective and your thoughts are like poetry. It’s very inspiring.
shop sitre sex gel
our sex gel is a luxury lube. it is water-based and with organic aloe vera, using high quality ingredients to create natural moisture.