oliver: self-intimacy is the most powerful
Some people find it difficult to open up and show their most intimate self. Oliver is not one of these people. He’s grown up in a family that has never implied that intimacy - or nudity, desires, the body - is something to feel shameful about as it’s completely natural and human. He does not listen if society says ‘don’t do this’ or ‘you should go that way’ or ‘be a bit less of that’; instead he is proudly himself and he prefers when others don’t filter themselves too. And this is also something that shines through in his most intimate connection; because he’s deepest and most important relationship is with himself. We adored connecting with Oliver, his energy is magical and we can’t wait to see where this life will take him. Make sure to follow him here.
Hi Oliver, could you start by telling us a bit about yourself?
Normally, when I have to introduce myself, I always say “I’m a work in progress”. I know who I am today, but I don’t know who I’ll be tomorrow since it depends on the life lessons I’m going to learn. I'm a primary school teacher graduate and I work as a model, and even though these areas of my life are different and in contrast to each other, I think it’s the best of both worlds. I’m a spiritual person and I’m very into everything alternative. My friends would describe me as a full blown extrovert, I’m very talkative and optimistic.
We absolutely adore your energy in photos. Have you always felt comfortable in front of a camera?
Yes. I have always thrived with performance and expression. When I went to school as a kid, I always looked forward to giving my presentations and I’m one of those people who actually get excited about the verbal exams, since I love to talk and express myself. When it comes to how I feel in front of the camera I really love to tell stories without words, and the fact that I can become the story itself and express myself by being me.
There’s nothing more satisfying than being able to express yourself and to manifest an atmosphere on a shoot, that’s an energy that is different from what you can write on paper. It’s one of the things I like the most about being a model.
As a model, you are in a world that is based a lot on looks. Do you feel sexiness is something physical Absolutely no. The people I think are cool, sexy or captivating are not necessarily people who look a certain way or work with something specific. But it’s the people who act or carry themselves a certain way, it’s the things they say or do, that make them sexy. In order to know if someone is sexy I need to feel them. Sexy is an energy. Not necessarily a look.
What role does intimacy play in your life?
Normally I think intimacy is understood from the perspective between two people having a relation - but for me, self-intimacy is the most powerful one. I have intimate talks with myself daily, and I check in with myself a lot. That makes me able to be intimate with other people and meet them deeper ‘cause I’ve met myself in the depths of who I am.
Growing up, could you relate to the narrative you heard about sex, pleasure and intimacy?
Yes. My mother is a sexually free spirited woman, and conversation about sex was never a taboo in our house. I have always been able to talk with my mother about the whole intimacy thing freely. She raised me to believe that there’s no such thing as right or wrong but rather a matter of personal desires. As a man I’ve often seen how women around me that were sexually free in themselves, getting shamed and harassed for it, in a way that the men around me never experienced in the same way. Which makes me wonder.
Do you ever feel shame or taboos are holding you back when it comes to exploring your desires?
No because I am lucky to be moving in environments where there is a high ceiling for the experimental, sexual and physical expressions and being xtra are welcome. The best people I have ever met are always those who got told they were “too much” which is a category I myself go under. But I’m happy that I can move free in these spaces.
Finally, what advice would you give someone if they felt like their self-confidence made it hard for them to be in the moment when being intimate?
First step is to acknowledge your insecurities. Be kind to yourself. Be conscious and aware. When you know what your insecurities are about you can work around them and change them into your personal power. Insecurity is a feeling most people know, and it’s a feeling that comes and goes. With that in mind, don’t take life too seriously.
And remind yourself like I do: The people who have been naked the most and laughed the most and are dying with the most epic memories, will win.
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